After watching this I decided to embrace the suck. Ive been sitting in hospital for four days with possible rejection after 12 years post transplant. Id been two months out of hospital and it took that long to build my lung capacity back up to restart my rehab on my knee. I spat the dummy at three hospitals on Thursday and almost gave up caring. I didnt want to deal with it anymore. A mate reckons I have built up more resilience than most people can dream of and yet it didn’t feel like it last week. I dint want to be back in hospital, deal with doctors,, the NDIS is a shitshow to deal with. Ive been putting pressure on myself to get back to doing my training courses and martial arts and just thought it was never going to happen. The pain has flared up with the torn tendon in my bicep to four more tears in my deltoid , bursitis and rotator cuff injuries. Im back on tramadol every day and a couple of light beers to help it work. Im waiting on a CT scan to see if theres any change in the lungs and a broncosopy tomorrow. The MRI on my pancreas showed the 13mm lump hadnt changed but the second 3mm lump had grown to 6mm. I decided to take one day at a time, focus on getting settled down in a house and not worry about anything else. If it happens it happens.